Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
