May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I had to cum in my sink.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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