Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
