It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
there is glitter all over my balls
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize