Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
