Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
