pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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