Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
