He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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