winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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