On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
