i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
