Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
