Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
