Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
