atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
