I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
