today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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