He is an equal opportunity slut.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
