Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
