Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
3pm strippers are depressing
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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