i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
