last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
