He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
