cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
