The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
