i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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