dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
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