we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My pussy is not your playground.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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