Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize