everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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