I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
