the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Randomize
