i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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