Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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