I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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