Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
