My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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