So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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