You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
