Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
