Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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