We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
