We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
