SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
