I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
