well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
