went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
