So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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