I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
