Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
