seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
