Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
