Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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