I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
