make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I could fuck to npr.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
