She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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