I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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