Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
