I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
